Megan Bird got to talk
to three talented women who are change makers working in different fields, and
got them to weigh in with their thoughts on the question: “Girl Power: What is the world missing out on by not recognizing it?”
Mila
Pilz is a brilliant lady who works in the field of conflict
resolution and has done some amazing work involving peace and conflict, and is
a very inspiring soul.
Elyse
Hall is a high school psychology teacher in Texas. Since she spends
a lot of time around young people, I thought her views on what Girl Power means
would be interesting.
Christine
Hoaglund is a recent graduate. She just completed her Masters in IR, and
lives in Mexico City. She is about to begin work with the US Department of
Justice in Mexico City.
Excerpts of the conversation follow:
Megan: I would like to begin with hearing each of your views on "Girl
Power” What is it, and what does it mean to you?
Let’s
begin!
CH: As for Megan's first question about Girl Power, I am not sure
if I like the term Girl power. The idea of a strong woman seems positive, but I
think feminism and the idea of girl power has taken on such a negative
connotation. Really, the focus should be on empowering all people, males and
females to live in harmony.
EH: Thanks Megan! To be honest, the first thing that comes to
my mind when thinking of 'Girl Power' is an image of the Spice Girls, and
therefore a rather superficial connotation. I think I grew up
hearing 'Girl Power' as a popular slogan, but without real substance behind the
idea of what it really meant. Thinking
about it more now however (with a little more maturity then when I was
first watching the Spice Girls!), I think it means that girls are not afraid to
try something that might be difficult, and choose their own path. So many
career fields and opportunities are available for women, but they
still need to possess the confidence to make challenging choices, and
stand up for who they are and what they believe.
MB: Thank
you Elyse. You make a very good point. With you being a high school teacher,
are you seeing the substance of 'Girl Power' developing in our youth? Is our
society creating an environment that nurtures, rather than hinders growth?
EH: In the district where I teach, I definitely see a nurturing
environment. Many of my female students are very academically motivated
and college-bound, and they speak confidently about their ideas and goals.
Of course, I know it does make a difference that I teach in a predominantly
upper middle class district where most students know there parents can afford
and expect them to go to college, which I know can be an important factor in
how they view themselves. Actually
one of the problems that I've observed and discussed with other teachers
is how students are becoming overcommitted with too high expectations of
themselves. I see almost too much 'girl power' ideas in some of my
students, where they feel they need to Superwoman and do everything perfectly,
and don't know what to do when they encounter obstacles or failure. What
do you girls think- do our ideas and promotion of 'girl power'
always encourage women to persevere, or do they sometimes set up what
seems like an unattainable ideal?
CH: I like Elyse's point about girls needing the confidence to make
challenging choices and stand up for who they are. American society stresses a
double standard for women. One the one hand, we paste images of an ideal woman
based solely on her physical appearance. According to this standard, a woman is
also supposed to be silent. There are many films in which women do not speak to
each other or if they do it normally only concerns issues with men. Girls have
so much more to offer the world. We encourage them to shrink themselves in
order to fit in. It's not healthy at all.
MP: I love
your honesty, Elyse, by sharing that you think of the Spice Girls. I
agree that, unfortunately, that is the first type of thing that pops into
everyone's mind of things associated with girl power. That is sad way
that even girl power has been taken from girls and turned into a monetary item.
To me girl power is teaching, empowering, supporting, mentoring, etc.
girls to believe and act as a force that strives to make sure that girls/women
are treated equally to boys/men. A big part of this is reinforcing the
notion that it is a good thing to be a girl. A big challenge in this is
creating and sustaining an atmosphere of women being supportive of each other.
It is so sad to see girl/women bully and compete with each other when we
need to come together for our common cause. Also, great
question, Elyse! Unfortunately, I go with the idea of the unattainable
ideal. From everything to how girls should look to their career
aspirations...the media and society teach them that they have to balance having
a career, family, friends and look good while doing it all. It also
brings up the issue of girls being so career orientated that they feel guilty
if they want to have a family and how women who end up choosing either a career
or raising kids end up judging the other camp. With all of that said, I
still have to say that it is better than the alternative of women not wanting
it all...it is quite the modern day dilemma and shows that the feminist
movement is far from over...
CH: In regards to your question, Elyse, about setting girls up to
an unattainable ideal, I totally agree. We tell women to be both quiet and
bold; to value education, but not at the expense of their grades. No matter
what a woman does she will never be enough - a woman must be a wonder woman in
all things in order to gain respect and acceptance.
EH: In what areas do you all think that girls face the most
obstacles in not being treated as equal to boys? So much of the prejudice
that we have in our society is implicit or can be subtle; I'm curious to hear
where you see the greatest effect. Also,
Mila, a great point about girls competing against each other rather than
being supportive- it happens so often but can be so harmful!
MB: Excellent point ladies. Don't let me interrupt the current
topic you are on, but something to start thinking about. What can we start
doing to help solve this 'modern day dilemma?'
MP: This also shows hypocritical/double standard. I'm glad
that you pointed out the cultural/social-economical point of your students.
I worked in a school in Jordan for a few years and the women there are
even more torn with how to fit the image in their heads of who they are/want to
be with the image from their peers. Wow,
Elyse--great question and so hard to answer since I feel it is hard to pick
just a few! The top ones that come to mind are looks, career/ family
balance and fighting stereotypes since I feel that girls and pigeonholed much
more so than boys. As far
as solutions go...connecting with each other so that we an be allies.
Bringing more women in power in all areas, but especial media,
government, businesses so that they can set higher standards for girls and
teaching everyone to view people as humans, not to differentiate but to focus
on our common humanity.
EH: To solve this modern day dilemma, I think women need to first
feel as though it is ok it their lives and families don't look perfect or how
others say they are 'supposed to'. As Mila said, we have the cultural
norm that women can have careers, but they also have to manage their family
perfectly, and this can create guilt and competition among women. Another
(rather simple) solution is for our expectations of husbands and fathers to
change. There is a perception that a woman choosing a career is
somehow choosing not to focus on family, but I think few men feel this way when
they choose a full time job. Especially when both partners are working,
it is very important for fathers to be willing (and comfortable with, because it
still goes against some of our 'tough guy' male gender role) to help care for
and manage the family. I think having flexible and supportive
parental roles can certainly help women manage this dilemma.
MB: You all seem to be leading to a similar way to help solve this
problem. From our discussion, it seems that our society in general is the
problem. The stereotypes that keep getting passed from generation to generation
are not going away. It will be a challenge, but do you think this long fight
will ultimately benefit all parts of the globe? If so, in what ways?
EH:I really like the point that you both just made about learning
to treat each other as humans. We so naturally divide and stereotype our
world, and I really think it takes time and effort to overcome those negative
perceptions. For both men and women, the more that we can see people in
positive, diverse roles, the less (hopefully) we will pigeonhole each
other!
MP: While the fight is long, I do feel that is it is progressing,
but it seems to be progressing slowly-almost by each generation. I am
hopefully that there will be a time when it is the normal, average thing to see
and treat men and women equally. Just like women voting, working took
time and race and marriage equality took time...thing too takes time, but we
will get there. I like your point about how feminism affects men and how
they need to take a stand too in order for there to be real change.
CH: As far
as a solution and how it will impact the world, I have to second Elyse on
learning to see each other as humans. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the
problems within our society have to do with inequality. The issue regarding to
women is not just a gender issue. It is an economic and political issue. In
some places, males are more abusive towards women during economic downtimes.
Being the gender that has historically had less power, women can be an easy
scapegoat when one is trying to gain a sense of control in a world that is
uncontrollable. To
address "girl power" issues, we need to address "boy power"
issues as well. Hurting and limiting women, hurts and limits men as well. Both
genders need to reevaluate their gender roles and expectations. This requires
that people work as individuals to evolve emotionally and mentally.
MP: Christine makes a great point by showing the larger political
and economical issues. On a smaller scale actions we can take starting
now are Another solution has a lot to do with the language we use in labeling
things (postman, etc.) and in how we describe each other (bitchy) and how we
talk to young girls (calling them pretty, etc. instead of focusing on their
abilities/talents). Another solution has so much to do with marketing,
but not just buying all pink for girls and blue for boys and buying toys for
all…not just dolls for girls and action figures for boys. Totally
agree, Christine. And this means we need to reform our mental health,
educational, sport, work laws and environments...
CH: Good point Mila about marketing. I also think there needs to be
social acceptance of differences between genders. Feminists are quick to attack
any sort of distinction. But the truth is, gender is fluid. Each individual
needs to define who and how they want to be - girls on average may like the
color pink (not that they do or must), but boys may also like it as well. In my
view, there is nothing wrong with people displaying or pursuing whatever makes
them happy - regardless of a particular gender expectation.
MB: You all make great points. If reform does not happen in these
different societies, then how can we expect the trend of confident, empowered
women to progress forward? Also from a political reform standpoint, what types
of changes do you both think need to be made? What laws and programs promote
inequality, or where do you think an 'affirmative action' standpoint is needed?
CH: As for Megan's question, power and freedom are generally not
granted. They are taken - claimed. Women and men need to stand up - vote, speak
out... claim their role in society. And, while that may conjure up the 1960s,
that is totally not what I am necessarily implying. Claiming their role in
society means having the right to be who they want to be - mother, career
focused, liking a specific color or activity, etc.. In
response to Elyse, I agree with I think it was Mila that said something about
the use of language. The word their should be change in the English language to
also be applicable in the plural form. There is no need to write he or she. Or
we should create a word that is gender neutral. Politically, policies that are
family friendly - including a system that supports families that have two
parents working would be a good place to start.
MP: wow, great discussion here--really thought provoking.
Christine, I agree that gender is on a scale...and the problem with
changing society's mind about this has to do with changing the status quo and
people who get power or benefit from the status quo don’t want to it changed. From a
political reform standpoint...there should be more a push for paternity leave
and some type of reassuring that taking maternity/paternity leave and/or
flexible scheduling does not equal the scare of or the reality of losing a job.
Also, giving girls more push in the STEM areas while some how opening up
the teaching/nursing and other "female" career to men.
This
does tie into the marriage equality issue and the issue of gay adoption and use
of surrogacy. Interesting idea, Christine-to create a gender-neutral
pronoun for people, etc. Society is always making new words/reworking how
words or defined... Also,
the point about needing a revolution of sorts--actually claiming our rights.
Some people don’t feel the need to do this and that hinders us all...
EH: Mila, your last comment about some not seeing the need for a
revolution really caught my attention. To be honest, in my personal life
and experiences, I haven't seen a need. My mother had a successful career while
working from home, I never felt as though I encountered overt gender
discrimination in my education or career, and my husband and I try to work
together in equal roles.
MB: There has been wonderful discussion. I don't want to cut off
any further discussion, so please continue if you are not ready. If not, I feel
like this could be a good time to ask for closing statements from each of you.
CH: Good point Elyse about the influence of personal experience.
When I served in the US Navy, I had a profoundly different experience. As a
female in a male-dominated environment, I struggled quite a bit against
stereotypes, sexual harassment and discrimination. I agree that educating both
Men and Women about the negative experiences would help greatly. In
closing, I think change will start with individuals. If we want a better world
for ourselves and maybe our children someday, we need to make the changes in
ourselves as people and in our environments.
EH: Overall, I think the fact that the effects of inequality has
become more cultural than actual legal discrimination convinces many women that
the inequality doesn't exist. My positive experiences could easily lead
me to believe this, which I think highlights the importance of advocacy.
Women and men need to be aware of issues like the ones that
we've been discussing, such as the prevalence of domestic abuse, inequalities
in family law, or double standards for gender. We need more people to
know about the importance of these issues to make change.
MP: You are right, advocacy and communication of the issue itself
is huge. I am happy to hear that you have been lucky enough to have not
seen the need. Thank you for opening me open to this issue of getting
more women to see the need and that they haven't seen the need isn't their
fault/a bad thing...just is and once they know then we are all more
powerful. In
closing, having these types of discussions are vital to pushing the cause
forward and that using our common humanity and seeing each person as an
individual cannot be underestimated. Thank you Megan! Thank you Elyse!
Thank you Christine!
MB: On behalf of the Red Elephant Foundation and the 16 Days of
Activism Against Gender Violence, I want to say thank you all three of you! You
have given great insight to the meaning of "Girl Power" and the steps
needed to make our society a better place for all.
