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| Jean Paul |
Jean-Paul Bédard, an elite endurance athlete,
international advocate for survivors of sexual violence, is also published
author, featured contributor to Huffington Post, columnist with iRun Magazine,
and author of the popular blog.
He shares his story with us.
Could you start
by sharing your story, to the extent you are comfortable and deem relevant to
the work you do?
18 years ago, after a lengthy battle
with drug and alcohol addiction and suicidal depression, I entered a treatment
program to address my addiction issues.
Shortly after entering the treatment program, I turned to long distance
running as a means to rebuild not only my physical health but also my fragile
mental health. In 2013, I disclosed to family and
friends that I was sexually abused by a hockey coach when I was 9 years old,
and that a few years later, I was violently raped by two men when I was 12
years old. Since that time, I have become an international advocate for
other survivors of sexual violence. In
2014, I ran the iconic Boston Marathon twice in the same day (84.4 km) in a
highly publicized campaign that raised both awareness of and over $25,000 for
survivors of childhood sexual abuse. In the fall of 2015, I ran the
Toronto Waterfront Marathon three times in the same day (126.6 km) to demonstrate
the resiliency of survivors of trauma, and to highlight the fact that we all
have a role to play in addressing the prevalence of sexual violence in our
communities.
What
inspired the birth of your activism? How did it come about?
Three years ago when I finally disclosed to
my wife and adult son that I was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse at the
age of 9, and later a violent rape at the age of 12, I immediately turned to
the medical community to help me come to terms with the trauma I had been
carrying around for most of my life.
Despite living in the largest city in Canada, I quickly discovered that
there were very few resources available to adult survivors of sexual violence,
and even fewer resources for male survivors. Over the first few months, I experienced the
incredible healing and liberation that begins with the simple act of having a
‘conversation’ – the beauty of having one other person who is willing to sit
with you in your greatest ‘darkness’… a person who is not actively trying to
‘fix you’, but rather, engages in an authentic conversation guided by empathy
and complete presence. I knew right
then, that I wanted to “be that person” for as many people as possible.
Can you tell
us a little about the work that you do as an activist?
As I waded tentatively into the world of
advocacy, I was uncertain of how I could make the greatest difference in my
community, but a few important decisions were made rather quickly. I knew for certain I did not want to set up
an organization, or be a spokesperson for any established ‘helping
agency’. Furthermore, even though I was
one of only a very few men in this field, I did not want to be known as someone
who advocated for male rights, and the need for further investment in, and extension
of trauma response resources for the male survivor community. I see my greatest impact as being simply one
of many survivors of sexual violence, but someone who is comfortable
communicating candidly about the ‘messiness’ of unpacking a life of trauma…
Someone who,
You use
different mediums to stand up against violence - could you talk a little bit
about these modalities?
I consider my greatest asset to be my skills
as a communicator, in that, I am equally comfortable sitting in front of my
laptop composing an article, or standing in front of a large group giving a
talk.
What have
your challenges been, so far? How have you overcome them?
My greatest challenge has been trying to
strike a healthy balance between devoting my ‘full presence’ to my advocacy
efforts, while at the same time trying to ensure that I maintain the ‘self
care’ needed for me to continue my efforts in the community. I’m not going to lie to you; it’s a balancing
act I’m still trying to figure out, and it’s one that often leaves me depleted,
withdrawn, and somewhat distant from the loved ones in my life.
In your work
so far, has there been a particular milestone / achievement / success story
that you'd like to share?
I would have to say that I indeed do feel
‘blessed’ in terms of the incredible support I received at the time of my very
public disclosure three years ago, and the subsequent doors that have been
opened to me since wading into the world of advocacy. Surprising though it may sound, I don’t feel
that my greatest success or achievement is related to any of the public
accolades or international media attention I have received for various advocacy
projects, but rather, it has to do with Huffington Post inviting me to be a
‘featured contributor’ to their site.
I’ve had the unconditional support of the editors at Huffington Post,
who have allowed me to candidly address such sensitive issues as depression,
suicide, addiction, and sexual violence.
Through the more than 50 articles I’ve published on Huffington Post, I
have been able to initiate a broader discussion about issues that sadly, don’t
often receive the media attention they deserve.
Moreover, my writing has had a profound resonance on thousands of
readers around the globe, who have taken the time to contact me so that they
can share their personal stories of resilience and fearless vulnerability.
Where do you
see your greatest impact in the coming years?
• Healing
begins with a conversation… I want to work towards making it more
comfortable for us to talk about the uncomfortable
• Stigma
isolates. Stigma traumatizes. Stigma kills… Remember 20 years ago how we as a society
felt uncomfortable opening discussing the issue of breast cancer… Look at how
far we’ve come since then… Wouldn’t it be liberating if we could talk as openly
about the issue of sexual violence in our communities!
• Putting
a ‘face’ on what a ‘survivor’ looks like, and what a perpetrator looks like… We are often shocked when we hear the
allegations of sexual violence or harassment against a public figure, be it an
athlete, entertainer, or politician … We say to ourselves, “Here was someone we
had invited into our homes each day… someone we trusted… yet he/she didn’t
‘fit’ our stereotype of what a sexual perpetrator looks like” … The same is
true when it comes to ‘survivors’ of sexual violence… Look around you…. It can be anyone, and
everyone! I want to draw people’s
attention to the fact that it makes no difference whether we are talking about
a perpetrator or a survivor, sexual violence can touch anyone’s life.
• Moving
from ‘bystanders’ to ‘upstanders’ …
Often, our natural inclination is to do nothing because we see the
problem is either too big for us to handle, or none of our business… Guess
what? It is our business and each of us
can make a difference!
Ultimately… It all comes down to ONE MESSAGE…
And it starts with YOU, right here… Right now!