Could
you start by telling us a little about yourself, your education, work and
career choices?
I was born in
Nigeria and had my primary and post primary school there. I wanted to be a
medical doctor as a child so I studied sciences. However, I ended up with an
Honorary Bachelor Degree in Public Health and Health Promotion (Preventive
medicine you may call it) from Ireland’s most prestigious and multi award
winning University, University College Cork. My postgraduate studies include
Food Marketing, Cooperative Organizations and Rural Development and I am
undertaking a Masters programme in Female Entrepreneurship.
With years of
business, travel and volunteering experience behind me, I discovered my passion
from the age of 13. That passion was to help and support children who were
hungry and in need.
However, as the
years drew by, combined with my challenges and experiences, and a desire to
give back to a people that loved and cared for me without judgment, my bubble
increased to include young people and women who were survivors or at risk of family
abuse and who were clearly underserved and disadvantaged due to their gender, social
class, financial or racial background.
You see I was
sexually molested by two very close friends of the family, whom I called uncles.
I never told anybody because these so called uncles were meant to be perfect
role models and could put me in the right path so I did not bothered telling
anyone. I also never wanted to see them again.
I guess I had
the feeling I was thought of as a rebellious and promiscuous child. This is so
due to some childhood experiences. You see, I was born into a Religious family,
went to church and even sang in the choir.
I performed in
church and even was allowed preach sometimes as a teen. But all this came about
because when I was 12 years of age; I meet a senior in my school who explained
to me what God expected from me as his child and how he loved me as an
individual. I soon discovered I could receive anything I needed from the
creator if I followed the rules (faith, believe and giving back).
I took that very
seriously and wanted to grow in faith, knowledge and also mingle with other
youngsters who were my age and was having similar experiences to mine. This put
me in a lot of trouble because I would go for other youth programmes in other
schools. When I came back home and asked where I was coming from, if I said a
youth programme I will be told we also have that in church. Sometimes I could
get accused of going to visit members of the opposite sex. I was even suspected
of being pregnant once I was having my monthly flow and had pain in the
stomach.
My journey with
God worked really well for me until I gave it up to please a few very close
people who did not understand me and or my journey but interpreted it
differently.
At 19, I was
almost raped by a man I later fell in love with and made my companion. That
cost me a lot because I was psychological traumatized and bullied in that
relationship. I had no one to support or help me and believe me it was a very
dark, very long and very lonely journey. I experienced reproductive abuse,
stalking and was practically controlled even from a long distance. It is true
you do not need to be bruised for it to be an abuse.
Everything came
crashing down at some point. I worked out of an abusive, manipulative and
controlling relationship and walked right in to a failed relationship with
someone that didn’t really care much. I guess I was not patient and did not
give myself time to grieve and heal from the former. I did not want to remain
single even though I was married. But I only lived with my partner for 4months
and some days as a wife.
I was very
depressed and gradually suicidal. I was full with so much shame, anger and I
blamed myself. I felt used, bruised and abandoned. It was not until 2014, after
I spoke openly to a group of strangers about my experience did I begin to truly
release the shame I had for myself. It was then I developed the courage to
forgive me and grieve because I did blame myself a lot. I developed the courage
to forgive those who one way or another made me learn a very tough lesson in
life. Now I am so thankful because without those masters or teachers, and
disappoints from very close people, I would probably not be here now at this
moment.
I am well-known
for my vigorous dedication to ‘my children and girls particularly.
This is so because most girl child in some developing countries are
disadvantaged and underserved. Their rights are violated and they are victims
of some hideous crimes. However, I believe to achieve this will take a
combination of experiences and resources from organizations and individuals and
the Government.
I established my
first business at 13 years of age. I sold Mackerel and peanut. Later on I worked
in Health Promotion, People Development, Youth Work, Childcare and Enterprise.
I am a Human
Rights Defender, a Transformational Speaker, Philanthropist, Gender Based
Violence Expert, Family Violence Expert, Girl Child Activist, Trainer,
Entrepreneur, Mentor, Critical Thinker, an Idea Generator and and I am very
privileged to be all these and more.
I am motivated
by the understanding that people can help themselves transform their lives but
sometimes we need someone else’s shoulder to start their journey.
I have been a
part of the journey to self recovery and discovery for many. Thousands of lives
have been transformed through my non-judgmental support, dedication and
unconditional love.
I am very
passionate about issues of social justice. I am very determined to see policy
developed for victims of forced marriage and Honour Based Violence in Ireland.
In my home
country Nigeria, I will love to be able to influence public perception and
policy around early childhood marriage and child abuse.
I recently
developed a very courageous advocacy campaign against early child hood marriage
in Nigeria. I will like to keep this up until the Nigerian Child is protected
from all forms of child abuse.
I suppose my life experiences has sort
of directed me to where I am so I have dedicated both my personal and
professional life ensuring that children, young people and women at risk are
protected.
What is Love and
Care People all about?
Love and Care
for People (LCP) is a non-profit, people centered organization. It is a home
away from home. It is a place for people who need the warmth and embrace of a
family and we respect confidentiality.
LCP is a safe haven where loving and caring supporters,
volunteers and team members or as we say our family all work together to bring
hope, shine light and provide Non-Judgmental Support to children, young
people and women from different cultures and nationalities who are survivors,
affected or at risk of Family Violence (including but not limited to Forced
Marriage, Reproductive Abuse, Honour Based Violence, Disownment, Abusive
Relationships, Spousal
Abuse, Child Abuse), Poverty and other
Social Exclusion. LCP serves as a voice for those who feel voiceless and we
advocate for the rights of the oppressed.
I recently started a campaign
to end child marriage in Nigeria. Feel free to sign and share it. That is a bold step for me. LCP has supported
over 500 girls, 300 young women, provided formal and non-formal learning to
2000 children, young people and women, served over 50 communities and
organizations with our preventive outreach programme and supported the
education of 100 youths, and recently developed a training for professionals
who will support survivors and at risk victims of family abuse.
How did it begin?
A
combination of reasons is responsible for the formation of Love and care for
people. A desire to give back and
reciprocate the support I received during my most trying period, awareness
about the challenges and experiences of International women in Cork, advocacy
for victims of family abuse, compassion for very underserved children living in
very disadvantaged circumstances in Ireland and a lack of services for
International women in Cork experiencing family, domestic and spousal abuse and
a safe and serene space for them to meet.
What are some of your biggest challenges in your work so far? How have you
dealt with them?
My biggest
challenge was being a single mum. I had to joggle work, college and motherhood.
It was not easy because sometimes I felt very overwhelmed. I had a very sick daughter
whose pregnancy was quite tough as I was an emotional wreck at the time. At
some point, I had the help of a sister and a friend. That helped a lot.
Another
challenge was concentrating in college because it was at the same time I had my
most difficult challenges. I almost gave up but somehow found a little bit of
strength to keep pushing. I wanted a
degree so I had to encourage myself. One of the reasons I kept on moving was
when I was told by a lecturer I will not be able to pass my exams. That challenged
me as I told myself; I would rather fail and repeat then not sit for my exams. Thankfully
I passed all papers.
I was
disowned by my mother. I would never have thought this would happen but it
did. I suppose sometimes, we have to be
able to accept some of our greatest challenges and look for ways of finding
inner peace. Acceptance and forgiving helped me through that experience.
What keeps you
inspired and motivated to do the work that you do?
I want to make a
significant difference in the lives of people and live that as a legacy when I cross over. I am overwhelmed when I see a smile on a
person’s face when they are happy and I want to be a part of that for many.
Being able to support people achieve the transformation they
want to have in their lives is great and I see that as a divine privilege. It is truly amazing to be a part of
someone else’s story of transformation. It is truly humbling.
I am motivated by the transformation and smile I see in the faces of
victims of abuse or poverty who that a deep breath and say to themselves ‘I
have earned my transformation’. That one person can be the reason why another
decides to take the bold step to work towards having a transformed live.
My inspiration comes from those who have been here before me and have
help others achieved greatness in their lives.
Can you share any
success stories and anecdotes from your journey so far?
Success is
measured differently by people. Mine would be “being able to stand up for
myself”. That is by far my greatest success and it took many years to build and
I keep practicing. Self believe and faith are quite powerful and you need both
to achieve success. You need to train your mind to work with you.
I am very exceedingly privileged to use my unique and
firm voice to advocate for survivors and victims of family abuse at the
European Parliament, European Commissioner and staff of the Department of
Justice in Ireland. My continues effort in advocating for survivors and
victims’ of family abuse (forced Marriage) led to my consultation on a major
research by the European Parliament in Brussels on the issue of forced marriage
in Ireland, Europe and neighboring countries.