Friday, June 2, 2017

Being told to “move on.”

By Sophia Brink

 “move on.”

These are the two words that are commonly told to rape and sexual assault survivors, told sometimes by family, friends, police enforcement, judges, and/or authority figures. Perhaps these people say these words to “help” the survivor. Of course, the great thing about being human is that we can indeed move on in a positive light from certain events and circumstances, like a break up or failed test or the loss of a loved one. The brain filters out the sorrow and pain within the mind. We never forget but we can breathe and continue on a positive path in life, slowly but surely.

Being told to “move on” after rape or sexual assault is common, but extremely destructive and insensitive. Because…. let me tell you this - no one can just “move on” from rape and sexual assault.

When your body is grabbed, beaten, scraped, and forced into like the hand and knife cutting into a pomegranate, your body throbs and stings for days, months, and years. Because - sex without consent isn’t sex, it’s rape. The body breaks like glass hitting the pavement. It’s a pain that cannot be imagined. The mind is affected. The body is affected. Relationships are affected.
Everything changes.

Healing from such trauma is a process. A process that’s personal and unique to the survivor. Be there for support but don’t ever expect a survivor to just “move on.”