By Sophia
Brink
“move on.”
These are
the two words that are commonly told to rape and sexual assault survivors, told
sometimes by family, friends, police enforcement, judges, and/or authority
figures. Perhaps these people say these words to “help” the survivor. Of
course, the great thing about being human is that we can indeed move on in a
positive light from certain events and circumstances, like a break up or failed
test or the loss of a loved one. The brain filters out the sorrow and pain
within the mind. We never forget but we can breathe and continue on a positive
path in life, slowly but surely.
Being told
to “move on” after rape or sexual assault is common, but extremely destructive
and insensitive. Because…. let me tell you this - no one can just “move on”
from rape and sexual assault.
When your
body is grabbed, beaten, scraped, and forced into like the hand and knife
cutting into a pomegranate, your body throbs and stings for days, months, and
years. Because - sex without consent isn’t sex, it’s rape. The body breaks like
glass hitting the pavement. It’s a pain that cannot be imagined. The mind is
affected. The body is affected. Relationships are affected.
Everything changes.
Healing
from such trauma is a process. A process that’s personal and unique to the
survivor. Be there for support but don’t ever expect a survivor to just “move
on.”
