Gender
Peace
Training |
| Shalini Saraswathi |
Could you tell us your story to the extent that makes you comfortable? You have spoken about vacationing in Cambodia, coming back and falling sick with a fever. It turned out to be a very rare bacterial infection. Did the doctors struggle to diagnose it?
Cambodia was on my list of places to travel to, and
we headed for a vacation on our 4th anniversary. I came back from it
to handle one of our toughest client visits. The month was eventful - the trip,
I found out I was pregnant, we were setting up the new home we had recently
bought.
Towards the end of March, while I was at work I
started feeling feverish and went home early. My husband was travelling, so I
was home alone. I called my in-laws and asked them to send me some dinner. The
next day I felt worse and it only got worse from there. The fever came along
with shivers and extreme fatigue. We visited my gynaecologist and he
recommended blood tests. The blood tests confirmed an extremely low platelet
count. The obvious conclusions were dengue or malaria. I got admitted into the
hospital and after a really tough first night in the hospital, I was moved to
the ICU. And that is my last memory.
Over the next few days, I deteriorated further with
me finally moving onto a life support system. My heart stopped twice, my
kidneys failed, my lungs were filled with water. The doctor confirmed a 2%
chance of survival. The doctors did struggle with identifying the bacteria
since it is not known in India. There has been only one reported case of Rickettsial
with morts in the world before, and that person did not make it through.
The doctors went back with a fine comb over the
last few months of my life. They contacted doctors in Cambodia and that is how
the confirmed the cause of the entire drama. The bacteria is contracted from
dog ticks and I had petted stray dogs on the trip. Plus, my pregnancy had led
to complications. Luckily I slept through it all. I woke up on April 5th,
my birthday. In my head, I thought it was the day after my admission into the
ICU.
The ICU is a crazy place to be in. There are way
too many nurses making notes and checking on you. They wake you at 4 AM to give
you a bath. I spent the next few days just lying around and watching the doctors.
I desperately wanted the pipes off me and that was my priority. My next goal
was to get out of the ICU. I did notice my arms at that time. They were dark
blue and swollen, with massive blisters on them. My legs were also in a similar
state. I did not mull over them too much then.
A few days later, i was moved to the ward and my
ordeal of sleeplessness and excruciating pain began. One day, the psychologist
arrived and broke the news. He said there was a chance of amputation of all
limbs. I told him, “if that is what it is, then we will deal with it. You guys
must have thought this through before talking to me.” I pushed it out of my
mind. I knew a miracle would happen.
A week later, I was discharged and my primary goal
at that time was to be pain free. I was relieved to be home. But the pain just
would not go away. In fact, it got worse. I tried alternative therapies, but
then gangrene set it. We moved to Ayurveda, which probably saved my body and
soul. My body began to heal and things began to change until I fractured my
left arm. When they were operating the fracture, they had to amputate it. I
lost my right arm to auto amputation.
In the days following the
amputation, where did you draw your strength from? What/who was your
go-to?
I just lived one day at a time, I focussed on just
getting through one day at a time. Reading saved me - it was my perfect escape.
I learnt classical music. I wrote. I did the things that Istill could. My
friends and family played the role of a wonderful support system. My girl gang
visited me every single day. On weekends, my home was filled with people who
mattered to me and loved me. Everyone did their bit to make sure I was
entertained. I spent hours talking to my nurse Mala. For the first year, I
continued to work from home, so that kept me occupied
Many do not even know what
auto-amputation is. Did you? What was the thought process that led to the
decision to amputate your legs too?
I never knew that auto amputation could happened. I
was at home, lying in bed with my hand sticking out of the bed, talking to my
brother-in-law sitting next me. I had a shooting pain in my shoulder and before
I even knew what had happened, a part of my hand was lying in his hand. A look
passed through us - me, my mom and my brother-in-law. My hand was bleeding, so
my brother-in-law bandaged it up. That day was my sister’s housewarming
ceremony so everyone was there. My brother-in-law told everyone and my nurse
arrived to check on the bandage. Everyone else followed, not really sure how to
react.
For some reason, I was relieved. I just knew it was
a sign to move on. We called my Ayurvedic doctor in Kerala, who arrived a few
days later. We agreed that amputating the legs was the next logical step. All these
days, our primary intention was to save the one hand. Now that that was out of the
way, we had to move on. I was happy because that meant I could finally get out
of bed. I was tired of waiting. I was holding on for the rest of them but I
just wanted to get out. I had seen two rooms and a balcony for two years of my
life. I was carried around. I missed just getting out and seeing the world. I
just wanted to move on.
I also think all this time gave me the chance to
accept amputation as something to look forward to, not as something negative.
It would let me do more than I currently did.
Today you are run and
identify primarily as a blade runner. How did the journey of running start?
Were you into sports even while you were growing up?
While I was growing up, I ran for my house in
school. I was part of the volleyball team. Most of my physical activities were
restricted to dancing. I'm a trained Bharathnatyam dancer, and i dabbled in
salsa and kathak. I went for a dance aerobics class. That pretty much sums up
my physical activities.
Post-prosthetics, I just wanted to get fit. I had
sat at home and gained weight. I did go to a few gyms and the poor guys did not
know what to do with me. I met Coach Aiyappa, and he said "I’ve never
worked with anyone like you before, but let’s try". That is how it all
began. We started with just walking, and then it progressed to fast walking,
jogging, and then running. Simultaneously, I also started a pilates class with
Anisha Naidu, who worked on flexibility, core strength and working from within.
The blades followed through last year and I ran 10 kilometres in May 2016.
Well, it is an aspiration, but honestly, it’s going
to be extremely tough. People train all through their lives for the Olympics,
and here I am, starting in my late 30s. The plan is to sprint short distances,
100 or 200 metres. We are still in the process of figuring out where my
strength lies. I have been someone who has just taken things as they have
come. I am following a path. My only input to the process is to give my 100% in
terms of training. We cross the rest of the bridges as they come. I’m just
hoping there are going to be so few quadruple amputees, that I place anyway.
There may be just three participants!
You now speak for corporate audiences and support a variety of causes. Your new page BeingYou has garnered almost 17,000 likes in less than a month, and the stories are being picked up and spoken about. Your own story has gotten 30 lakh views! Why do you think these stories are important? What led to BeingYou?
Post-disability, my life has been extremely
enriching. I’ve just met so many positive, lovely people and my life is just
more wonderful. Today, if you read the papers or log in online, all you see is murder,
corruption, rape, the whole hog. It makes you feel like the world is a terrible
place.
BeingYouwas initially created when we wanted to bring
out an amputee calendar. We featured 13 different amputees across India. Preeti
[Rai] and I worked hard to put this together with few others like Kumaran,
Kanick Raj, and Sithara, who are all part of the ad
world. They made this a reality.
We got a response that shocked us. Clearly there is
a dearth of good positive stories. Every one of us has our daily struggles.
Some of us cope with them better than others do. The ones who succeed are the
ones who are persistent and stay positive no matter what. That is how BeingYou
came about. We consciously put out positive stories - because humanity is
largely made up of nice people and we need to let people know that there is
hope. We never give up.
