“Don’t wear horizontal
stripes, it makes you look fatter than you are.”
“So what if I look “fatter”
than I am?”
“It looks bad. You
should dress to accentuate your best features.”
“How is my size a feature?
How can my size look bad?”
“Hey come on! Have you
ever seen fat people being praised for how they look?”
“I haven’t, and that’s
the whole problem. Looking good is about one’s confidence and not how big or
small or fat or thin they are!”
“Okay now you’re being
ridiculous. Fat is just plain ugly.”
“Okay… now THAT is ridiculous.
How can you determine that fat is plain ugly? It’s unfair of you to label a
person, (a) judging their looks and (b) being so hurtful. Fat is a body shape,
it’s not a basis for hate or determination of looks!”
“I don’t know, there’s
a whole industry that is built on getting people to be the right size. If you
grow too fat, you can’t find clothes to fit, besides,
“What is this industry
you speak of? Who makes that industry what it is?”
“Look, just look
around you – models, actresses, everyone around us – they’re all super fit and
thin. They are the industry, they set the benchmark! Besides, being fat is
unhealthy.”
“Being fat is not
necessarily unhealthy. Fat is a body shape and a nutrient group – but you’re
making the classic mistake of mixing both up and using them interchangeably. As
a body shape, being fat is not necessarily the function of accumulated fat (the
nutrient), or because one is unhealthy. There are people who are fat but are
perfectly healthy. There are people who fall under the bracket of “thin” but
may be grossly unhealthy and may have cholesterol and other lifestyle issues.”
“That’s rare…”
“I’m afraid not. It’s
far more common than you think. By looking at a body size or shape and deciding
that someone is fat and therefore unhealthy, you make a judgment without a
basis. Do you know about their lifestyle? Do you know if they’re healthy or
not?”
“Not for everyone, but
the few that I know are unhealthy…”
“If they’ve been
medically evaluated as unhealthy, don’t judge them. Be a good ally rather than
to give them judgment. They know what they need to do – and instead of hurting
them with judgment, support and encourage through positive reinforcement.”
“Anyway, the point is
not all this. It’s just that you must dress right.”
“The point IS all
this. Dressing is an expression of one’s confidence and choice, and comfort. If
I like horizontal stripes, I like it, and I will wear outfits with it.”
“So… how can I be a
good ally? I was only trying to watch out for you!”
“You seem to have good
intentions to want to watch out for another, but the way it’s playing out is
not necessarily helpful. So a good idea would be to start understanding that bodies
come in all shapes and sizes. You are not responsible for the larger portrayal
of the ideal body shape, but you are responsible for joining others in the
world in feeding into it – which you can stop doing. And then, look beyond a
person’s body as a subject of conversation. There’s so much more you can talk
about. Ask me about my life. Ask me what’s happening – and if I open up, tell
you something that’s bothering me, ask me if you can help, and how. That makes
you a sounder ally.”
“Makes sense, then.”